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Is Your Child Ready for Life 101?

High school students and their families are investing more time, energy and resources into applying to college than every before. Consider the following:

As individuals and as a society, we pay far more attention to getting students into college than in preparing them for the responsibilities that await them once they get there. Freshmen year is often the first time students who live away from home are responsible for their own finances, health care, job searches, personal property, travel arrangements – in other words, for managing their own lives without the safety net of their parents. Yet once they’ve decided which school to attend, we parents breathe a sigh of relief, pat ourselves on the back for a job well-done, and start to think about turning our child’s bedroom into a guest room or home gym.

There is more to sending a child off to college than buying extra-long sheets. Our students should be ready to face all the challenges ahead – not just academic ones. The risks of dropping the parental ball on life skills training are significant. Here are some things you can do before your student leaves home to ensure a smooth transition to independent living:

Open a checking account

While he’s still living at home, have him open a checking account. The balance doesn't have to be large, just enough so he can get in the habit of keeping a check register up to date, paying bills by check or online from the account, and reconciling the register and statement monthly. Without these skills, your student may end up paying stiff fees for bounced checks or an overdrawn account.

Get a credit card

Most credit card companies and banks will give a student a credit card if a parent co-signs. Getting your child her own credit card while she is still at home means you can discuss how to use it and let her have some “practice” while you can still monitor it. Make sure she knows the importance of paying her bill each month on time and in full to avoid late fees and finance charges, and that she only buys what she can afford. Today’s college students graduate with an average of $3,000 in credit card debt, which can take years to repay.

Establish a budget

Instead of giving him a monthly allowance for “extras,” consider this: estimate all the expenses he has as a high school student (except room and board): entertainment, clothing, gifts, personal grooming, school supplies, etc.) and give him an agreed-upon amount each month to cover your share of everything. He will learn to make tradeoffs and choices about spending money while you’re around to consult (“Do you think it’s worth paying $30 more for brand name shoes, or should I go with these others?” ) Once he gets to college, he’ll be used to living on a fixed income and will be more likely to live within his means and make balanced choices.

Plan a trip together

When you’re planning college visits during your student’s junior or senior year of high school, do the research together. If you’re flying, or taking the train or bus, search web sites together for the best fares and times so she knows where to look and what factors to weigh in choosing an itinerary. If you are driving, consult maps together to plan your route. Many college students make their own plans for spring break vacations, and yours will be better prepared if she’s had some experience.

Talk about health “what if’s”

For anything serious, the college health center will be around- but many students are clueless about what to do for more common ailments like a sore throat, the flu, muscle strains, etc. Make sure your student knows what your preferences are. If you use a particular brand of over-the-counter medicine, tell her why (“I like this one because it doesn't make you drowsy,” or “This one treats only one symptom of a cold so it’s not overkill.) She’ll be making these choices on her own in college and would probably welcome the guidance.

Discuss some other “what if’s”

While a student is still living at home, involved parents tend to “clean up messes” on their child’s behalf. If her wallet is stolen or lost, you call the police. If he has a car accident, you deal with the insurance company. If her computer fails while under warranty, you call the manufacturer. But once she’s at school, she will likely need to handle these things herself. Make sure she knows what to do, who to call, and how to document her actions. Stuff happens, and you want your student to be prepared and capable of dealing with it without becoming unglued.

And finally, the domestic arts

Does your son do his own laundry? Sew a button on his shirt? Maybe not- but he’ll need to when he’s in college. Have him start now so you can show him the ropes. It’s surprising how many whites T-shirts in college laundry rooms come out with a blue tint because they were thrown in with a new pair of blue jeans. And if he will be living in an apartment, he’ll need some basic cooking skills. Frozen meals and boxes of macaroni and cheese get old pretty quickly when eaten day after day.

So start now to transfer some of these responsibilities to your high school student, and you’ll be able to share your own knowledge and experience about these important life skills. If you wait until he’s off at college, anything you say will seem like micro-managing. By ensuring that your student is well-prepared to take charge of his own independent life, you can both sleep easier once he’s gone. It won’t stop you from missing him, but that’s another article.

By Susan Rothstein and Diane Brandt
Creators of the Captio ® CollegeCase ® – the quick-and-easy system for managing life at college.
www.captio.com. Enter discount code LO20 at checkout and receive a 20% discount on our organizers.