First things first, congratulations on your new baby. You must be very proud. You longed for that day when you would hear the joyful squeals of a new baby. But, the crying baby and exhaustion from the sleepless nights turn your schedule and your life upside down.
Welcome to parenthood, where you seem to only have time for your little one, barely able to squeeze in a quick shower and a load of laundry in between rushed meals, breastfeeding (or sterilizing bottles), let alone to do your hair or shave your legs. Your partner/husband comes back home from work exhausted, orders pizza while burping the baby so you can take a break. Your baby has now become THE focus of both your attention and sometimes brings the near demise of your spousal relationship.
Having and caring for a newborn is nothing short of challenging for both parents. It seems as though that cute little bundle of joy is slowly but surely wearing you out, and, at times, breaking you apart. But whatever made you think that your baby needed you 100% of the time? Your baby doesn’t have to be fed or changed by you and you only all of the time. Do you think your baby will remember and be traumatized if you take a couple hours for yourself? Nope, it just isn’t the case.
In order for a marriage to survive after a child arrives, it needs to be tended to, like a flower. If you don’t water your flower it will die. A great way to regain control over your life and keep a strong relationship with your spouse is to have a date night. New to date night? Never heard of it? Let me explain how this could save your marriage after having a baby. Date night is not one date night per year. I am talking about once a week. Even if it is one hour, taking a walk or going out for a burger, you owe it to yourself and to your relationship to take a break from parenthood and reconnect as a couple.
Reconnecting means talking about your dreams and goals for the future while realigning your relationship to your current situation. Reminisce about the past and what you love about each other; share your fears, your joys, your hopes for the future and near future (a.k.a. next week’s date night).
Having a baby transforms your life and it is very easy for your relationship with your spouse/partner to become swallowed by the baby’s needs. Date nights are the perfect way to honor your marriage. Schedule date night every week on the same night and try to keep it set in stone. You’ll be amazed how much more energy you have for the baby and how much stronger your marriage will be as a result!