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It Takes a Village to be Touched by Others’ Life Cycle Events
By Jeff Zbar | November 8, 2008
Robbie and I have been married for 20 years, and together for 24. We have a 17-year-old daughter, followed by two younger siblings.
We have a rich and full life, with accomplishments and challenges, and those proverbial highs and lows that all familes come to know.
But sitting in the bat mitzvah of the daughter of a long-time friend yesterday, I couldn’t help but get teary eyed as I watched their own event unfold.
We’ve had two children become adults by way of the bar/bat mitzvah, or the traditional rite of passage in the Jewish faith where a child leads the Saturday morning service. But as i grow older, each time we attend another family’s event, I see a bit of myself / ourselves in their simcha (blessed event).
I watched our friends, Scott and MaryEllen, beam at their daughter’s performance reading from the Torah and later, the haftorah. We all beamed in kind as the girl - upright in posture and strong in voice - seemed to be transformed before our eyes into womanhood. We chuckled as her younger brother stepped upon a pedestal, poked his head over the lecturn, and lead the congregation in singing L’dor v’dor (a prayer whose title means, From Generation to Generation).
A fitting song for a touching moment. Twenty years into our own marriage, we see nachas (all good things) in other people’s blessed events. And to be sure, this has nothing to do with religion, and everything to do with humanity. We are a community, a village. A celebration is everyone’s celebration. A loss should be mourned by all.
Later today, I’ll drive a short distance to visit the home of a friend whose mother-in-law recently passed away. His family is sitting shiva, or the traditional period of mourning following a death in the family. Alas, his loss is our loss, so friends — regardless of faith — go to pay our respects and spend time with those who, but for the momentary grace of God, are us.
But as a village, we’re all the stronger for having shared in those highs and lows together.
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