If you are bouncing back from a painful divorce, it can be hard getting yourself back out on the market. Don't let the past get you down about the future. Here are some tips on finding your confidence, meeting new people and ultimately, getting your second chance at love.

Dating after divorce can seem like a daunting prospect. Your self-esteem may be at an all-time low, your faith in love has been damaged, and, besides, it's so long since you last had to go on a date, you're not sure you'd know where to start.

But sitting home alone isn't going to solve your problems. If you want to regain your confidence and take a chance on romance, getting out there and relearning the rules of the game is the easiest way to do it.

Where to Start

If your old friends are all married, you may not know any other singles of a similar age to you. So go out and find some.

You can meet new friends in all sorts of places. Start an evening class in a subject which has always intrigued you. Take up a sport which your ex was never that interested in. Join hobby clubs or reading groups or become a volunteer.

New friends come with all kinds of benefits. Because they don't know your ex, they won't feel any loyalty to them - this means they will free to take your side at all times and won't feel guilty about introducing you to all the eligible singles they know.

New single friends are even better. Married people may feel intimidated by the mention of divorce, or could be jealous of your new found freedom. Singles know exactly what you're going through and will cheer you on through thick and thin. Most singles clubs act as support networks rather than dating agencies, so find one and give it a try.

Learn to Love Yourself

Learn to develop confidence by standing up straight, making eye contact and smiling at people. You may feel unappealing, but force yourself to greet everyone you meet - having the supermarket clerk smile back at you will give you a surprising boost.

Get used to trying new things and taking small chances. Go somewhere you've never been before. Try an unusual hobby. Chat to someone you've only just met. Become accustoming to leaving your own comfort zone and dating will soon seem less threatening.

Trust your Instincts

When you're nervous, you may look for excuses to avoid dating again. Anxiety and inexperience are bad ones, but there are a couple of good reasons to say no.

Don't start dating after divorce just because your ex has. If your separation took you by surprise, take time to get over it. Meeting someone new is not a competition, so wait until you're ready.

If somebody makes you uncomfortable, there may be good reason. There are people out there who prey on low self esteem. So, if someone unsettles you, don't hang around.

Date Night

When you're ready to start dating, let your new friends know - they could know the perfect person for you. If you don't seem to be meeting any attractive singles, consider online dating. Internet dating has become incredibly popular, and can put you in contact with many more people than you could ever hope to meet otherwise.

There will come a time when you do have a date. It may be sooner than you think; it may take you by surprise.

Dating after divorce may feel strange, but go out with the intention of enjoying yourself. Your date may lead to romance, or you may not click. All that matters is that you won't know until you go. You're single now and your life is full of opportunities. So, don't stay home dwelling on the past. Get out there and give that date a go. You will be surprised that dating after divorce can bring about positive results.

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